Recently, we discovered that a good friend is being divorced by her husband. They were married for a long time, but he has left her and their children in order to “find himself” and pursue his dreams. She is crushed and physically sickened by his desertion. Stories like this fill me with anger toward the beast that has abandoned his wife and family. We know too many women who have been deserted by their husbands. Our society is overflowing with them. Such a state is a just indictment against men. How could we? How dare we leave any woman, let alone as many as there are, destroyed by this cruelest of betrayals?
This question, and others like it, has been weighing heavily on me for a long time. Part of the answer lies, I think, in men not knowing what it means to be a real man. Given the number of books that have been written on this topic over the ages, it may be the height of arrogance to think that I might have anything meaningful to contribute. I hope it is not. But this latest example of betrayal has forced me to sit down and set down my thoughts on manhood in the hopes that something I say will make a difference. Therefore, all of the posts in this category will be devoted to exploring what it means to be a real man.
First and foremost, to be a real man one must be a male. That may seem a bit ridiculous and self-evident, but in a society ruled by political-correctness run amok it is neither. We must establish at the outset that all the talk about gender being a construct separate from mere physicality is foolishness. Let us be candid and acknowledge that the origins of contemporary gender theory lie in a desperate attempt to justify homosexual behavior to society at large; an attempt to try and convince us that their behavior is not a perversion, but an outworking of gender confusion. That there are people who are confused about their sexuality is a sad, sobering fact. That they must be treated with gentleness and charity is a truth. But we must not try to accommodate their behavior or help prop up their self-esteem by distorting the truth about gender and physicality.
There are stark, absolute differences between men and women, physically and emotionally. As most of us learned in high-school biology class, females have two of the same kind of sex chromosome, XX. Males have two different sex chromosomes, XY. The result is two different sexes, male and female, and two different genders. This is a physical fact that cannot be altered by surgery or society. A woman cannot be made into a man, neither can a man be made into a woman. Any time one tries to be the other, the effect is grotesque. An effeminate man does not look or act like a woman, nor does a “butch” female look or act like a man, no matter how hard they may try. They merely become tragic parodies of themselves. Therefore, to be a real man, one must be male.
We should not be shocked, dismayed, or discouraged by these statements. We should, instead, embrace and enjoy our real genders. If you are male, it is a good thing to be male. There is much to enjoy about being male. There is a physical strength to revel in, a rough-and-tumbleness to exult in, a desire to conquer and subdue that, exercised properly, can be leveraged for the good of society. There are forests to be cleared, fields to be plowed and homes to be built. There are friends to wrestle with and enemies to battle. There are women to woo and wed, who will help smooth some of the rough edges and help to civilize our baser instincts. There are the pleasures of the marriage bed, which should be undefiled. There are the children to rear, sons who need Fathers to show them the way, daughters who need Daddys to protect and cherish them until the time comes to give them as a gift to husbands worthy of them. There is sagacity and the crown of wisdom that comes to the older man, should God grant him long life. Let us then, as males, as men, exult in these things. They are gifts from God to us as men. Let us, then, put to death the lie that gender is a construct and not the gift that it is.
Much more could be, and has been, said on this particular topic, but that should do for starters.
PS: If anyone has any comments, please be courteous and avoid vulgarity. Also, please stick to the points made above. You cannot possibly object to an argument that I have not made, so don’t try.